AI better start worrying

“Good morning, class, and welcome to another school year. My name is Miss Automatic Indicator, but you can call me AI for short. Short: a length of time between two designated time periods, or used as a noun as a comparative size reference. As a plural, what men typically wear slightly beneath their pants. As a proper name, Short, Martin is a comedian originally from Canada, was a regular on Saturday Night Live for a short time. Short...”

“Miss AI, can I ask a question?”

“Question: an inquiry by an individual requiring or asking for an answer. In philosophical terms, a question is doubting about the veracity of standard norms. Norm, in the singular, a spontaneous shout when a certain character walks into the Cheers bar. Bar: alcoholic or chocolate...”

“Hey, please, Miss AI, I need to know...”

“Hey: American slang, considered not courteous in some social circles. Circles: a geometric shape with no beginning, middle or end.”

“Yeah, like this class.”

Class laughs. Miss AI looks bewildered. Her humor circuit has not been installed. She shifts gears, pulls out a ruler, and begins the day’s lesson, which she cleverly writes down as “The day’s lesson.”

“Today we will learn about long division. Long is the opposite of short. Short: a length of time between two designated time periods...”

“Yes, Miss AI, we went over short earlier. I’m also thinking about short-circuit, as in short-circuiting certain educators.”

Miss AI displays her patented bewildered look. Sarcasm does not compute.

“...Division. A derivative of divide, to split, break into equal or unequal parts. Also used in math, as in long or short division. Short: a length of time between two designated time periods...”

“Miss AI, I still have my question. Can I please...”

“Peas. A small green vegetable, eaten as a side dish. Apparently, raw peas are mainly water - 79 percent, in fact. Varieties include shelling peas, snow peas and snap peas.”

“Miss AI, I said please, please. Not peas, please. P-l-e-a-s-e.”

“Peas. A small green vegetable, eaten as a side dish. Apparently, raw peas are mainly water...”

“That’s it. I’m just going to ask my question and hope for the best. Miss AI, can I please go to the bathroom?”

“Bathroom. Despite its name, very few people actually take baths in the room. It is American jargon for frequent activities, such as...”

“We know, we know.”