How’d we get here from there?

From the dawn of time, or a little later on weekends, man has been trying to get from Point A to Point B. If they had time off, they’d make it to Point C. Point D was just a dream.

The question, not that anyone asked, was just how to get there.

At a very young age, man, and his counterpart woman, took a good look down to the ground and discovered he had feet. That gave him an idea - and it gave his neighbor, Ugh Nike, a better one.

Leg transport worked pretty well in the whole Point A to B scheme of things. Of course, there weren’t a whole lot of places that man could go. A destination vacation was over to the pile of rocks in the cliff on the other side of the cave.

But then something incredible happened, or at least incredible in those times. A man, historians think it was Fred, or his half-cousin Willard, noticed an animal that could travel much faster than the average man. That gave him the idea to ride the animal to get to his destination quicker - although the first time he tried to ride a lion didn’t go so well.

Eventually, the horse was harnessed.

And then man came up with a revolutionary idea: the wheel. This, he figured, would change everything, or at least give him something to talk about at the next Wooden Club Club.

So he went ahead with his invention, and put wheels on his horse. That didn’t go over so well - especially for the horse which wondered why he had evolved into a creature used mainly for transporting a two-legged animal to a very special pile of rocks on Monday holidays.  

But the horse and the wheel served man quite well until more modern times when man realized he just had to get to JC Penny’s even faster before the two-for-one sale on corduroy socks was over. With this as inspiration, he decided to invent an engine, which had the unintended consequence of putting thousands of horses out of work and onto farms. As cars sped past, parents explained to children that the horses were the engines of ancient times, a point which was lost on the children, the parents, and the horses, so forget I even mentioned it.

The engine worked a little too good as everyone thought they needed a car, so all this somehow led to the internet and online shopping, stranding cars in their garages and leading man again to stay home where it all began.

Stuart Green is a freelance columnist. He can be reached at sagreen115@aolcom.